This is my current state:
|An icepack under the robe :(|
I admit... I'm also at a total loss as to who to send these to. My mom says to send them to people who we really want to come to the wedding, and family. I mean.. okay. That's our whole invite list. Why would we invite anyone we wouldn't really want to be there? JW says to just start addressing and seeing where we end up. I'm just worried that I'm going to screw something up and offend somebody.
|Soooo many to address...|
I admit... I sound really whiny sometimes. I promise I'm so grateful for the friends that are willing to fly to another state to meet me and celebrate me becoming a Mrs. I'm so grateful that I have that opportunity as well. I really am extremely understanding of all my other friends that can't come because of other obligations or money issues... I promise I understand, I do. Even though I'm admitting to a feeling of frustration over things I can't control (because that's really the issue here), that doesn't mean that it's merited. Just being honest.
|A building being demolished outside our apartment today. Random but oddly relevant... metaphor for being honest and chipping away at my "tough" exterior??|
I admit... I don't feel very much like a ~*Bride*~. Maybe no bride really does? But I feel like everything is super stressful and I'm freaking out about everything and I have to go out of my way to get things done. Aren't things supposed to be done... for me? It sounds completely selfish but I mean, just like birthdays, this is the only time in my life I can be really, really selfish and picky and everybody understands. Maybe it's because I don't have a wedding planner (who wants to pay for that?!), but lots of responsibilities are being placed on my shoulders, where I feel like they shouldn't be. I don't mean to discredit my mom and my sister - they are doing so much for me and I am so grateful - but.. I don't know. There's a general feeling of stress and worry that I'm carrying that probably won't go away until after the wedding is over, that I feel should not be there.
|Chocolate, the ultimate healer (Chocolate Martini from Dilettante in Seattle)|
|Seattle: Wet Streets and Sunlight (go figure)|
Previous Admission Wednesdays:
January 15: Yoga and Pain